I.S.C - The Last Good Idea

Mr. Belt has worked for I.S.C. for a number of years, after seemingly stumbling across the cure for ‘Retinal Rot’ at the age of Eleven. He has worked his way up the corporate ladder through a mix of grit and determination. He has done countless hours of charity work in Sudan and has a taste for fine wine. In 1998 he stared in the short lived ‘Belts from the Planet Venus!’ on FOX, but returned to us soon after he won his record sixth Nobel Prize for medicine. He is currently overseeing the creation of the first artificial intelligence to generate complex belt jokes. He has many fan belts, he is also an inherent liar.

One of the ‘Laser-Pigeons’ created to increase motivation and deliver the wizard’s mail. Unfortunately, they always burn it. The pigeons are actually born with laser eyes, a result of our geneticists reading too much X-Men. Unlike one particular X-man, the Laser-Pigeons can control when they emit their beams. New Yorkers have helped capture stray pigeons for our experiments, and since we started using Laser-Pigeons in our offices, there are 40% less pigeon related incidents in Manhattan. However, there has been a 200% increase in mysterious deaths by incineration. As it happens, the pigeons are also used to eliminate incriminating evidence. The next generation is being designed to be faster and not require feeding. (Note: They currently feed on burnt flesh)

Joe was the only surviving Giraff-a-saur of the Flea-Day-Massacre, an event that has etched itself into the history of our business. Joe was discovered by a fire crew on the roof of the church 3 days later, and resolved to bring back his brethren by the magic of genetic cloning. We gave him a job and all the resources he would need and provided him with an active ecoculture where he works to this day. This week he generously saved a blueberry muffin for the visiting ambassador of china, earning him his first 'Employee of the Week' award! He enjoys combat of both the armed and unarmed varieties and coincidentally is a keen golfer. Mini-Golf of course.

Professor Litherland and the Evil Professor Litherland

Professor Litherland is quite simply, brilliant. he has been overlooked for this award too many times. He is unrivaled in the fields of mathematics, science and the arts. Unfortunately he created an evil clone of himself last year who looks exactly identical in every way. The evil clone has been setting fire to things and smoking on company property. Since we cant tell them apart at all, but we want to award Professor Litherland for his services, both men will receive the award and a split Ł50 each.